The Taboo About Sexuality and How Tantra Might Save Your Marriage
Tantra might save your marriage! The taboo about sexuality in North American culture causes a great deal of pain and misunderstanding in many relationships. The fact that there is such a push in the US to reduce women’s reproductive rights, shows the degree to which our society is repressed. Sexuality is a healthy, biological function that everyone takes part in at some point in their lives. If we can’t talk about sex how can people express their needs and desires in the bedroom? How do people increase the level of intimacy in their relationships? These conversations need to take place immediately.
Is Tantra Misunderstood by Women
Women who grew up in the 50s and 60s were a part of the free love era; hippies, drugs, sex and rock and roll. I know many of these women did not “save themselves for marriage.” So, why is there still an inability to talk about sex and why do so many of these women have very little action happening in the bedroom?
When I decided to take the Tantra Practitioner course, I told a friend what I was doing. She was curious so I sent her a link to my instructor’s website. Her response was, “Oh, Dale, that is a sex site!” I suspect she did not look past the home page.
Another woman I spoke to about the course, became immediately silent. Even when I asked a question there was no response.
Many men in this age group, complain about their wives not being interested in sex. The one activity that is free, health giving, pleasurable and nourishing emotionally is being avoided. I believe this is in part due to religious and societal conditioning.
Sex Ends When You Get Married
There are many jokes about sex ending when you get married. Possibly, the beliefs that you are supposed to be a virgin bride, or maybe the belief that all men wants is sex, or possibly the thought that good girls don’t enjoy sex are partly responsible. Whatever the reasons for these beliefs, they are detrimental to a healthy and loving, supportive, sexual relationship.
Many years ago, a woman in her 30s that I knew had issues with sexuality, told me that on her 10th anniversary, she had promised her husband that “she would neck” with him… not have sex just deep kissing. She then informed me that she didn’t do it. When I suggested she get counseling, her response, “Why should I. It’s his problem, not mine.” I am unsure of the trauma this young woman had endured however she could not even talk about sexuality. Do you think she was blindsided when he asked for a divorce?
Another young woman I spoke to who was raised as a born-again Christian and married her high school sweetheart (both were virgins) shared that there was no joy in their lovemaking. She believed women did not have orgasms. Because, sexuality was not something she could discuss, she never learned how to ask what she wanted for in bed. Her husband was woefully inadequate as a lover but it was accepted as normal.
A Spiritual Experience
Many years ago, while making love I had an experience that literally made me rethink what was possible in intimate relationships. Instead of a regular climax, I felt energy rush up through my body and explode in brilliant light in my head …and no, I was not on drugs. I had no idea what caused it but during the experience I felt connected to the universe and in addition to the pleasure of orgasm, I had a sense of well-being, love and divinity. My quest was on and until recently I was never able to recreate that experience…. until I learned Tantric techniques.
Why Women May Want to Look at Tantra as a Practice
In Tantra, there are 4 pillars to the practice that support better relationships. One of which is connection. There are sutras that allow both partners to connect intellectually, emotionally and spiritually before intercourse takes place. Synchronizing of the breath and heartbeats and verbalizing your appreciation for one’s partner allow for a much deeper feeling of love and acceptance. Many women, when not feeling appreciated on a day to day basis, have a hard time with lovemaking. In fact, many couples no longer make love, they have sex and there is a massive difference between the two.
Tantra Might Save Your Marriage
Being able to verbalize what you want, what feels good, and what doesn’t, allows for a satisfying relationship. Tantra also allows both men and women to break through blocks to bliss or emotional blocks. When you bring in Tantric practices that encourage emotional and spiritual experiences to occur during lovemaking, there is a desire to connect on a more regular basis. The joy from great lovemaking spills over into other areas of your life. Tantra is not just sexual a practice. It is a way life that imbues a healthy respect for each and a joy that can only be understood until it is experienced.